What happens when your son is smart but lazy in school?

My 8 year old is amazingly smart, the problem? He is lazy!

He finds ways to get out of doing school work and sadly the teachers have let him get away with it. He claims he is feeling ill or has a headache. This past Monday we met with his teacher and resource teacher of finding ways to help him.

The one thing is helping him become more independent. This one is not only hard for him but also me since he is my last “baby”. You never realize how hard it is to let go until your youngest starts growing up. Then you hold on to the little things you do for him. I haven’t pushed him like I have pushed my daughter. So now he is being more responsible in the morning and surprisingly it has been quite easy. He does it with no question and now I wonder if all along I wasn’t actually helping him to move faster but holding him back by doing it. I have to say it is a bit of load of my morning schedule for him to get himself ready. I still pick out his clothes but he puts them on and then goes to the bathroom and brushes his teeth. He also receives a sticker daily at school in his planner if he had an independent day and there has yet to be a day without a sticker!!

The second thing we are working on is his printing. While he is smart his ability to write down on to paper is lacking. So each night we do a journal and he is learning to pace himself at work when writing so that everyone can read his work. He has been doing well with that as well. He does try to stall by complaining that we have to do another journal but once he sits down he does complete it.

I am hoping with just those two things it will help him with the rest of his school work. They tried testing him in school but he rushes and then the test isn’t accurate. So really the school has no idea what he CAN do because he doesn’t have the patience to be tested. My husband feels that threatening to take his PS3 away or his computer away if he doesn’t do it is the key. I think that we need to show him he needs to do it to be those wonderful careers he wishes to be. (mayor, army man, police officer)

Hopefully he finally does because then maybe they can see what I see with my son. I know he can do a lot more then they believe and it is frustrating having to hear over and over he can not when he does do it at home.

Do any of you have some problems with your children not doing what they need to at school? And how have you succeed in getting them to do the work or how are you trying to get them to do it?


Loss of a Loved One

For a child, death is a touchy subject. It is hard enough for us as adults to deal with a loved one passing on. But for a child the world they have known has ended. 
Today we had a funeral for my husband’s grandmother. While my son at 7 years old still doesn’t truly grasp what or why it happens, my 11 year old (Hayley) is another story. In the past 6 years my daughter has lost several people close to her in our family so when we told her Grams was ill, it was extremely hard on her. 
She chose to write a letter to Grams that was to be read by her older cousin. At the last minute she decided she wanted to do it. For an 11 year old it is big job. I know you are wondering why children are at a funeral. My husband and I both agreed a long time ago to allow our children the choice to be there or not. Sometimes if a loved one that wasn’t close to them passes they ask to stay home. We decided on this because we know that even children need to grieve. Some disagree with it and that is fine. You know what works for your children. 
As she read the letter she got really emotional and her cousin continued reading. When she was able to get her bearings she took over for her cousin. It was a letter of her memories of her Great-Grandmother. I know she wanted to read that not for all of us or even for herself but for her Grams. Whom she loved dearly! 
After she read that letter she came and sat in my lap and cried. As a parent it kills us to have our child in pain like that, but instead of trying to find all the right words the only thing we can do is hold them and let them grieve. 
Hayley seems fine now. She’s been laughing and chatting the rest of the day but I know in the future there may be a day she has a memory of her Grams which will make her said and her dad or myself will hold her and let her grieve. 




Please Just clean your room!

The hardest thing for me to get done is for my children to clean their rooms! 

I find it is like pulling teeth, you keep grasping ways to get them to do it. I have tried bribing my children with money, treats like McDonald’s, and even threatening to not allow television time.  Yet nothing seems to stick.

One mother has told me that if her children leave garbage around the house, she asks them once to pick it up then she puts it in their bedroom so they can see what they are leaving around the house. I’d do that but then my kids rooms would look like a local dump!

The problem is mainly my fault. When my kids were little I picked up after them. I figured they were children and they needed to be allowed to play without the worry of chores. Now it is coming to bit me in the behind for doing so.

So now my husband and I are stuck with actually doing the cleaning for them. Maybe we will get it right when we have grandchildren!
How do you get your children to clean up after themselves?