Loss of a Loved One

For a child, death is a touchy subject. It is hard enough for us as adults to deal with a loved one passing on. But for a child the world they have known has ended. 
 
Today we had a funeral for my husband’s grandmother. While my son at 7 years old still doesn’t truly grasp what or why it happens, my 11 year old (Hayley) is another story. In the past 6 years my daughter has lost several people close to her in our family so when we told her Grams was ill, it was extremely hard on her. 
 
She chose to write a letter to Grams that was to be read by her older cousin. At the last minute she decided she wanted to do it. For an 11 year old it is big job. I know you are wondering why children are at a funeral. My husband and I both agreed a long time ago to allow our children the choice to be there or not. Sometimes if a loved one that wasn’t close to them passes they ask to stay home. We decided on this because we know that even children need to grieve. Some disagree with it and that is fine. You know what works for your children. 
 
As she read the letter she got really emotional and her cousin continued reading. When she was able to get her bearings she took over for her cousin. It was a letter of her memories of her Great-Grandmother. I know she wanted to read that not for all of us or even for herself but for her Grams. Whom she loved dearly! 
After she read that letter she came and sat in my lap and cried. As a parent it kills us to have our child in pain like that, but instead of trying to find all the right words the only thing we can do is hold them and let them grieve. 
Hayley seems fine now. She’s been laughing and chatting the rest of the day but I know in the future there may be a day she has a memory of her Grams which will make her said and her dad or myself will hold her and let her grieve. 

 

rose

 

Please Just clean your room!

The hardest thing for me to get done is for my children to clean their rooms! 

I find it is like pulling teeth, you keep grasping ways to get them to do it. I have tried bribing my children with money, treats like McDonald’s, and even threatening to not allow television time.  Yet nothing seems to stick.

One mother has told me that if her children leave garbage around the house, she asks them once to pick it up then she puts it in their bedroom so they can see what they are leaving around the house. I’d do that but then my kids rooms would look like a local dump!

The problem is mainly my fault. When my kids were little I picked up after them. I figured they were children and they needed to be allowed to play without the worry of chores. Now it is coming to bit me in the behind for doing so.

So now my husband and I are stuck with actually doing the cleaning for them. Maybe we will get it right when we have grandchildren!
How do you get your children to clean up after themselves?